First family member BIG BOO BOO! Day 85
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good morning welcome to what they are we
on we on Thursday through Wednesday hey
how about that I'm actually day behind
or a day ahead oh my gosh anyways good
morning you guys
we are just leaving the house it's 11
o'clock and it is a beautiful beautiful
more name it it's only 49 degrees here
at least currently right now anyways we
have some errands we have to run we have
to run a DMV and go to boldly Mart and
do a couple errands in that area but
yeah we have just some things to get
done um and we're gonna actually get me
something with caffeine in it because
we're hoping that maybe maybe that might
help a little bit with my fatigue Ness I
did bring my Fitbit so I'm gonna get
that link to my to my phone because it
hasn't been linked for a couple weeks so
I'm gonna link that and get that started
this morning for breakfast I had oatmeal
and I have not had anything since so I'm
just gonna really bite the Nell and like
I said last night I'm lowering my
calories to 1600 I think that's a fair
amount I don't think that that's gonna
deprive me at all especially because
even not 1800 I can never reach that so
I mean technically 1600 probably you
know still is quite a bit but because of
my body doing whatever it's doing right
now and thinking it needs to
c'mon goes amounts I'm hoping that 1600
I still won't reach that 100% because I
really don't want to be exceeding my
calorie count
so anyways whenever this gentleman in
front of us figures out where he wants
to park so we're gonna stop and get Olli
his his caffeine drink and then we will
be off to get my caffeine drink I think
that's a thing hmm maybe it's true as
you get older you have to have caffeine
because I swear everybody I talked to
always says I have to have caffeine in
the morning in order to wake up and it's
like maybe that's true because I just
don't feel like I can wake up these days
but with what you guys have been talking
about with me about the change of like
my medications and stuff that very well
could be a big factor of it I never
thought about that until you guys
brought that to my attention so
definitely for sure I will be talking to
the doctor about that but the bad thing
about it is I don't even get a doctor's
appointment until November 8th so I have
to deal and struggle with us until then
unless I call and I heap and I beg for
them to get me in sooner maybe I can get
in with them but so anyways I will check
in with you when we get I think probably
to Walmart because otherwise we don't
really have okay well I don't think
we're gonna get them here okay maybe we
can get them at Walmart okay when we go
to Walmart you guys I washed my face and
I'm just not seeing that I still have
that black soap on my face
oh that's that's sexy clearly I did my
face good enough how about that and I am
wearing a different outfit I am wearing
the same headbands yesterday but I'm
wearing a different shirt and guess what
you guys this shirt okay so when I
bought this shirt it was from torrid
it's a size six but when I very first
put
and I think I'm pretty shy maybe not
I'll have to look and see if I have any
pictures of me wearing this shirt though
when we get to Walmart okay when I very
first got this shirt it because it's
technically technically is supposed to
be like a short dress but because of how
big my belly was I would wear the short
dresses as shirts because clearly that's
just how I was able to wear torn clothes
well today I put it on and it like
literally is like a short dress it is
much longer than it was when I very
first put it on I was like that feeling
so yes I do have the same headpiece on
but it's because it matches my shirt but
I'm just wearing
[Music]
oh yes you guys so we just got out of
Walmart I walked through the whole store
I'm so excited it's such an amazing
feeling like when I just look back and
it's like those are the things that
pushed me to keep wanting to do this and
not give up is when I look at myself and
I'm just like how you know a few short
months ago I was happening to still go
in those cards now it's like the last
thing on my mind is oh my gosh are they
gotta have a card available I still
think about it it still comes to my mind
every single time I'm gonna go to the
store I always ask myself wonders are
gonna have a card like cuz I think it's
just so embedded in my brain like I
think that I have to ask myself that
because i yet have accepted that I
really don't need a card but it's so
nice to be able to walk through the
store and just be like wow I'm doing it
my back is not hurting at all I mean
like we we walked around the store and I
mean we got the things that we needed
but it still was nice to just be able to
own the experience and I'm gonna give
credit to this this kicker
literally kicker because I am feeling
like I'm getting that energy they
painted to just make it through a day
and so all he's gonna help me brew some
coffee at home that has like the
caffeine in it but that way we can
manage how many calories are in it
because of course I don't want to make
it a habit to get a coffee every single
day I don't think I money-wise I don't
see the point in paying three three
dollars and seventy five cents every
single day for coffee when I can make
them at home just as well and also like
I said be able to control how many
calories I'm really really really really
gonna stick to this of sixteen hundred
calories but it was great walking though
and feeling like I did it I really did
it and guess what I walked off it's in
my purse and forgot to put my Fitbit on
before what honey you're done your
tongue hurt you oh it could be from
having that from jury eating the banana
yeah honey can you come around and give
her her water bottle honey she needs to
rinse her mouth she might have the same
issue I do I can't have bananas she said
her tongues hurting are I betcha it's
from the banana I can't eat bananas
because they put sores all over my
tongue like I can't eat fresh pineapple
either because they put sores all over
my tongue anyways but yeah I just want
to check in with you guys and share with
you that again I walked through the
store I felt amazing I came out of the
store
seriously just just wanting to scream
out of excitement because every day that
I push myself to another uncomfortable
place in this journey it just
continuously is a reminder of what I'm
doing why I'm doing it why it's
important and all those things flood
back to me and make me remember what
those things are so anyways I just want
to check in with you guys and tell you
how proud I was of myself
and share something good with you guys
hey I have a question for you guys so I
am trying to find I know they've got to
carry like a white chocolate creamer for
coffee at some point but not vanilla but
white chocolate but what I'm trying to
do is find something that sugar-free so
that it's less calories because I want
to try and make these at home and I
could if I cuz this is a white chocolate
I think he's at a white chocolate
Annihilator which I don't know what the
nyeh later part is I guess I could look
that up but I would love to know if you
guys drink anything like that just let
me know of where do you guys would find
something like that okay you guys we are
I'm no why would I do all that
[Music]
yes we were just walking through the
door
look bout because my knee if I get out
and just put pressure straight on my
knee I literally feel like it's gonna
smoke anyways um yeah we're just getting
home so oli is I really wanted to stop
at this store that we have it's called
Ross IgA I don't know if everybody has
it there around you guys or not but
anyways it's a store here that they sell
like fresh salad stuff it's like a salad
bar but it's expensive
what it's also expensive that like
literally what no what would normally
cost you like 70 bucks literally they
charge like fourteen to twenty dollars
so all I was like so anyway so he's
gonna make us some lunch cuz I'm getting
hungry and I know the kids are too but
anyways I just wanna let you guys know
that we just now are walking through the
door and getting situated I don't know
what all has in store for our wonderful
afternoon I did not find the pants that
I was looking for so all he said that he
said I can go ahead and go online and
order a pair of pants but we'll see I'm
gonna take a couple glances and see
there somewhere
cheaper toward cuz he said to look at
tor and I'm just like anyways ok I'll
check in with you guys and show you guys
I'm showing you this pan ok
and guess what is underneath it and this
is not sugar it is salt but guess what's
underneath all of this salt wait and see
along with my kids eating their dinner
estra where are you someone snuck off I
need me a blended it's like a fruit
juice type thing but I was able to
calculate it into my calories oMG it is
the best thing ever and my kids are like
loving it obviously abuse ok you guys
let's see what is this look at the scene
remember your fingers
[Music]
it's gonna be my friends it's hard for
me that's a meat it's alright you can
get any kind of meat like a piece of
rose to be so and whatever meat you like
Oh looks yummy it's a big chunk okay so
here is the final process its salad
potatoes
rice and the meat now what's my dinner
is gonna be some of the meat the rice
and I might go take a couple bites of
the potato but that's my dinner me our
salad and of course I always have to
have the side of ketchup dig in
let's see your honey look up mama
doesn't want to touch it okay yeah and
you chipped your tooth over there well
you just did a doozy are you okay yeah
we were getting ready to put jammies on
and wash our faces for the night and
Omar was running and he tripped on his
scooter in the hallway and he got a big
owie huh but he says he's okay
we got lots of bloody tissues and how we
gotta wipe our nose gonna wipe your nose
okay let me do it gently but yeah we'll
be okay but if only mom was gonna have
to call the dentist tomorrow okay okay
well let the dentists know what's going
on baby yeah you want to tell grandma
okay welcome to the evening of Wednesday
so I am just sitting here having just a
few minutes to myself and there was my
child screaming but I thought well I
would do a little bit of vlogging with
you guys um because I am
so I had talked to Olli today because we
had went to Walmart and I I'm needing a
pair of like not capris but like shorter
pants I guess you would say and so I was
looking at like what I could find that
would work at Walmart but Walmart didn't
have anything like clearly I don't know
what's going on with Walmart to be
honest with you I have not been finding
anything anything that remotely will
work for me in their department other
than a few items but like before I would
go to Walmart and I'd find things all
the time and now out of nowhere I'm just
like not so I asked Olli today we went
to Walmart and I was like can I look and
see if they even have something like it
and like the pajama section like
something and he's like yeah that's fine
you know I mean understandable so we
went to Walmart and I looked around and
I just I didn't see anything
so he's like well honey just you know go
to tour it and we can just get you some
pants not be done I'm like no I don't
want to spend meat or it is so expensive
I don't want to spend that much money so
we're you know we talked about it for a
little bit and I said well let me look
online and see if I can't find something
l but cheaper somewhere else um you know
because we're really just trying to be
very cautious with our spendings and
things like that you know bye bye when
needed but you know if we don't need to
buy then try and put it off you know a
little bit and and mainly because I'm
losing weight so I don't want to go and
buy something and then be stuck where
I'm just like oh well you know okay see
so we're just I'm just kind of taking a
look and just glancing to see what I
find
clearly I probably won't find anything
typical Amy
and that's okay that's doesn't surprise
me but I just you know I was just
wanting to kind of see what they had out
there but anyways today was a pretty
nice day actually I felt really good I
assure you guys I made this and I'm
almost done
it's just blended a juice from what
ollie buys from Costco and literally it
came out like I don't even like an icy
almost it was so good and it stayed like
it's not hard it's not like it didn't
crush up they're just it perfect perfect
perfect perfect so it's pretty excited
to get that because I was like oh okay I
like that
so yeah anywho so I did that and then
I've done really good though I mean I
really did today I did not
I mean nope I did not touch them for the
kids I didn't have one I'm crazy I
didn't have one all day I was so proud
of myself
and I stopped to my sixteen hundred
calories like perfect and I feel really
good I feel like I accomplished
something that you know I was aim to
that I was aim to do I feel very good
and I feel like I did it so I wanted and
um I feel like I'm back on track I don't
have my Fitbit on right now I took it
off because I was doing dishes and
walked off forgot it and I surely don't
want to go I don't wanna go in there
right now my kids will tear me up but it
just was nice like being able to just
feel like I accomplished such a good
thing and
I don't know I I don't even know how to
describe it but it really felt good
knowing that hey you know what this felt
good that I was able to accomplish this
day I accepted and know that you know I
was struggling which like all he said
you know what he me that's the start
that is clearly the start for you to be
able to say hey you know what I'm really
struggling and you know I clearly I am
needing a little bit more you know help
or you know I'm needing a little bit
more support or whatever it might be it
was good it was it felt good to be able
to say hey oli you know what I am really
struggling and you know I I really think
that you know I'm needing the extra help
and he was right there and he didn't
make me feel like what are you talking
about like why do you need help or you
know you shouldn't need to have helped
by this point you know I mean he didn't
make me feel bad or make me feel like I
should have this all together by now
like he didn't make me feel anything and
ultimately that's that's what makes me
feel good is knowing that my husband has
my back a hundred percent and that he
totally was just like no we got this
like don't ever feel like you know Amy
you have to do this alone or if you're
struggling you know he's like come to me
and tell me and now we can figure this
out and and working out together he's
like because I don't want you to ever
feel like you didn't succeed in
something due to the lack of scan I told
him I was like honey you have been such
a support that I would never want you to
feel like you weren't supporting me
because you have been you know you have
been my number one support and and
that's the truth but you know some days
we all still fall short sometimes and we
do need a little bit of that
picker-upper that extra you know hey we
got this and we're gonna do this and
we're gonna accomplish this together and
you know you're not alone and those
things feel good when you know you are
not alone and that you do have your
support there you just have to sometimes
tie into it and once you are into it and
know that he's there and he's not going
anywhere it just makes life so much
better and it really makes life easier
in so many ways because I just seriously
felt like I was drowning in my in my
recovery and I'm really bad about you
know when I'm struggling with something
I have a hard time saying hey you know I
really need some extra help or I need
some extra support you know I'm really
bad about asking for help and I really
don't know why I struggle with that so
bad but I do and we have all been there
one day or another you know we've all
had those moments that we may need an
extra push or an extra word of
encouragement and that doesn't make me
or you or anybody else less of just
because we're saying hey you know we're
struggling right now if anything it
makes us a better person because we're
actually reaching out and saying okay
you know what I see that I need help and
I see that I want to succeed in this and
I want to do good and so because of all
of that I want to make sure that I am
doing everything I can in my own ability
to reach the ultimate pacts that I can
to see the biggest success for my whole
being here and so that's you know what
we talked about last night and he just
directly told me you know don't ever
feel like you are alone because you're
not I am right here standing beside you
I am fighting this right with you you
know and that made me feel
so much better and I felt like you know
what I can do this because he is there
for me and I have to remind myself that
you know he's not going anywhere and I
don't have to do this alone and I would
never have to do it alone even if I felt
like I had to do it alone you know that
he's right there with me and so it was
such a good conversation that we had and
I just felt so intrigued to to know that
he really is there for me and he's not
going anywhere and that made me feel
more safer to be able to say okay you
know what yeah I really have been
struggling and I really want a little
bit of extra help so that I can get off
of this you know what kind of this ride
that I've been riding the last couple of
days and get back into gear and so you
know waking up this morning I was right
on it I was just like nope I you know I
got exactly what I'm looking for I have
what I want and this is what we're gonna
do and I'm not looking for anything
different you know so this morning it
was I woke up I put you know sigh logged
in to my to my fitness pal and put 1200
1200 sorry 1600 calories and I put my
Fitbit on after I went to Walmart of
course I completely forgot to put it on
beforehand but I mean I put it on and I
was like okay we got this we're gonna do
this I am NOT I I have no reason to
believe anything else like I want to do
this and I did find today all he got the
chocolates for the kids you know and I
the thing is is I'm not gonna expect my
kids not to have things just because
mama counts not handle herself you know
so I am definitely not gonna be that
type of a parent
I will let my kids have things in
moderation but I have to learn that I
have to have control over my own actions
of what I want so you know I I simply
did I was just like oh you know what no
I I can't have that chocolate and no I'm
not going to make that an exception
there's no exception it's a me doesn't
need this a me is fine without it and
that's it and I felt great coming off of
it and you know all he came home after
running some errands and stuff and I was
like look I owned the situation a
hundred percent I did not touch the
chocolate I did not eat the kids as
chicken nuggets and tater tots that I
made for dinner I didn't touch it
and I feel so good because I didn't do
it and he was so proud of me because he
was like that's a step forward Amy he's
like that's exactly what you want to
fill and I am so proud that you were
able to put that one aside and be like
no I don't need this I'm okay without it
I'm gonna live I'm gonna survive and
then that's exactly what I did and I
didn't have it and I felt good and you
know again the fair reminder of walking
through Walmart and having that feeling
of oh my gosh I successfully walked
through the store again I didn't even
have to think about if there was a cart
available and you know those are those
are you know and unskilled victories
those are skin those are those are
victories that you can not way you know
so surely yeah you know what I I see the
numbers going down do I fill it yet no
do I see it yet absolutely not my
husband says yes you can I don't see it
and I probably never will see it oh I
think I'll always see myself big I think
I'll always have something negative to
think about myself because I we are our
own worst critics but the no scale
victories of like walking through the
store without my cart being able to get
up and clean the kitchen and doing my
exercise
and all the things that are things that
I just clearly could not do just shortly
ago are all victories that I have gotten
under my belt that I don't want to give
up I am so like no no no no no I don't
want to give these things up because I'm
so excited that I've already gained them
that I don't want to let him go before I
even get to enjoy them basically is how
that comes out
so anyways I've been really excited just
how things have been going for me and I
cannot wait to continue to share with
you guys and show you guys that I am
serious about this and you know I okay
so I suffered a couple of days where I
wanted to throw the towel in or whatever
you want to call it and I wanted to go
on the binge thing and I just wanted to
eat and eat meat and then I was like
yeah new yeah I'm gonna happen aim you
don't play that way
and I got right back on it you know and
I just took it for a ride and was like
no not gonna have it not clearly not
gonna be it's just unacceptable
unacceptable so anyways I hope that you
guys are understanding what I'm saying
I'm just babbling on as I'm shopping
which I haven't added anything else to
my cart that we seen but the pants I was
looking at in the Oh what is this thing
called the clearance section I just
looked in the Claire's just to see but I
haven't seen anything that I really like
so anyhoo well I think I'm gonna close
you guys because I need to go and check
my chickens a bath we got Omar this
selsun blue for his hair so I'm hoping
that will help with this cradle cap
because that's what the doctor said
would help so fingers crossed that
that's gonna happen and then after that
I haven't eaten dinner yet
Ali came home a little bit late so
dinner's gonna be a little bit late for
us but I already fed the kids so
anyways I hope you guys had a wonderful
day today I hope you guys enjoyed my
blog if you did if you can give this
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I would greatly appreciate it and I know
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with that all said I will check in with
you guys bright and shiny in the morning
take care
sweet dreams bye bye
[Music]
